I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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