apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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