O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
