I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
