I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize