I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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