More tranny stories later!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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