She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
