The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
