we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
