I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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