I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
