ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
