whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
