I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
