someone threw a dead crab at me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
