lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
