Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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