Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
