i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
