he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
