and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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