Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
