Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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