I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
