after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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