HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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