The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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