Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
