Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
