Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
