he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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