i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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