love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
