Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
