There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
