I've blown a few things in my day
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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