Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
