Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is my gift to your gina
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
