I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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