I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
