Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
