Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
