Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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