With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were destined to go to rehab together
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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