real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
