Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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