i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
