I smell stomach acid.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
