He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
