i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
