Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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