yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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