Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
