I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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