I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize