I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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