look no pants
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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