I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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