There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sponge bath it is.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
