I cockslap morals
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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