Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
did you just send me my own nude
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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