The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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